Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
