don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
