Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
