Your tits are I can't wait for
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
