I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm having to shit out rocks
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