i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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