the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
