I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
