I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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