Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
