Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Say something about gay babies.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
