I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
