All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
