NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
