bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
