sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
