im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
