sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
