just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
