And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
