There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
