butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She's the barista slut.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
