it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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