Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
