Please, let me fuck your mom
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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