my soul wont recognize me after tonight
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
