walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
