just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I have fence marks all over my body
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
