So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
