haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
