I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
