3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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