You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
