btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
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My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
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Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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