yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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