so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
