He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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