The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize