So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
