see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
