That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
