maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
