Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize