I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize