I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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