I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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