I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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