Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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