Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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