We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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