we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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