it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
why is half of my head shaved?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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