I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Randomize