Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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