glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
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