There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Im part way to drunk.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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