i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Congratulations! We have a period
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
