she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Two words: blizzard sex
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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