In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
